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Wife Wednesday: Married at 21, My Most Daring Decision

Hello, Dolls!

When I mention that I am married, I’m already prepared for heads to turn. Honestly, its amusing to see people’s reaction. I’ve gotten many different reactions, yet the most common ones are as followed: the jaw-drops, ‘WHAT?’, eyebrow raises and the classic ‘You’re MARRIED??!!’.

I say those people have every right to their reaction. I completely understand because: 1. I married at 21 (I’m currently 22).

2. I look like a teenager.

3. It’s not the wave. It’s rare to find a young lady and young man committed to each other & willing to settle down.

Now another contributing factor to add, is the feminist movement. There’s a good amount of women who supports the movement and calls themselves a feminist. If you pay close attention, the movement least supports marriage. That’s nothing new. Since the movement launched, it has sneakily and boldly integrated that anti-marriage and anti-men mindset in many ways.

So one would be surprised at my mature, traditional choice of marrying early. Contrary to what seems to be a shift away from traditional values and morals, I stand by decision.

Some may view my choice of marrying young as being ‘safe’, ‘naive’ or ‘not living life’.
Yet, My Choice of getting married was the MOST DARING DECISION I have ever made.

Prior to our wedding day, I only met my husband 2 times in person. I know, right. We were a long distance couple and I finally met him in the summer of 2018 and spent 4 days with him. Then we parted ways and met again in the autumn for 4 more days which during that time he proposed to me. That following winter, 2 months later, we committed the rest of our lives together.

Choosing to marry is a serious decision, ESPECIALLY when you’ve only spent a total of 8 days together.

I packed up my things, parted ways with my beloved family, which whom I spent my whole entire life with, and traveled about 1000 miles to start a new life with the man of my dreams. It was an exciting, yet scary thing to do.

My husband and I knew we would eventually get married, but we didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I was stuck in my ways. I‘ve always said I wouldn’t marry unless I knew my fiancé for AT LEAST 4 years. I wanted to have an established career to where I wouldn’t have to depend on my husband financially or need him at all. To add to that I wanted to be the money maker in the marriage. I wanted to feel dominant in my future marriage. Can you feel the pre-mature feminist mindset I had?

So there was young Ebony with the plan...again. Focus on your career, be a powerhouse, meet the man of your dreams after college, date for a MINIMUM of 4 years and then eventually marry him. It wasn’t a horrible plan. My mindset behind it made it horrible.

I made that plan, I was stern on that plan, but then God.

He, the Almighty one, decided to bless me, with the love of my life early on. There’s not much I can say to it, but God truly blessed me. He called me to marry my husband at the time that he did. That’s all there is to it. Of course there’s so many questions, ‘Why now?’, ‘Don’t you want to wait until you finish college?’. Valid questions but the only explanation is that God called us to make that covenant when we did.

So was my decision was daring yes, but my faith and trust in God was the reason why I was ready to make that decision. Now I’m living my life with my husband who protects, supports and guides me.

For any Dolls out there who are married, engaged or thinking about marriage, remember that marriage is a covenant between you, your husband and Yahweh. Remember how sacred and blessed marriage is. Remember who called you to make that commitment. Marriage isn’t perfect and it takes time to grow and adjust throughout the years.

If you are currently married, reflect on you and your husband’s journey to marriage and the blessings that God has given you. Everyone’s story, challenges and blessings are unique in their own way. I would also encourage you to never give up on the blessing that God has gifted you with.

As a reminder to all of Dolls, married or engaged, We only have ONE example of the perfect marriage and that is between Jesus and the church. I truly hope you Dolls enjoyed my 2nd Wife Wednesday post. At times I find it refreshing to hear and to share our stories.

Next week, by request of a new EN Blog Doll member, I will be discussing conflicts and quarrels in marriage. If you Dolls have any other Wife Wednesday topic requests, then definitely join the Blog community and submit your request!

How has God blessed you’re marriage? Are you engaged or thinking about marriage? What are you looking forward to in marriage? Let’s Chat, Dolls.


Ebony Nikita


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